"...even men need shoulders to cry on.... people to pray for them and support them. We are not superheroes..." - Chinwetalu C.
The country as we all know is in a dire state and it is stale news that we are in an Economic Recession. Ever since the government of the day came into power nobody has been their normal self, every area of the economy has been tightened. What seemed like a running tap low on reserved water is now permanently shut. Now that we have established that fact, dear spouses, we need HELP!There are certain roles you could play in the life of your spouse now, that s/he would eternally appreciate. First, let me address immediate past issue of Valentine (since it is the most pressing) Feb 14th a.k.a. Valentine’s Day. I don’t even want to go into details on how we have abused this particular date, however, at the last "Husbands & Boyfriends Association" meeting (not exactly a real association); we came to a consensus that since we are not descendants of Oga St. Valentine, there would be no need to commemorate the day with all that expenses anymore. Just go about your day in normalcy; in fact stay clear of anything that has to do with red henceforth on that day. The point is we still recovering from the December expenses. This 2017, personally, I have not recovered from December 2015 spending. If you are a Valentine’s Day aficionado or a helpless romantic, just think about all the other days we’ve made frantic efforts to sweep you off your feet. Now to the matter at hand, wouldn’t you rather be with a dude who makes every day special for you, than be with one who only takes out February 14th to show you that you’re worth anything to him? In earnest preparation for the Loveday henceforth, kindly do well to adhere to these under-listed precautionary measures…..
- AVOID CREATING AN ENVIRONMENT THAT COULD LEAD TO TEMPTATION. Guys are naturally attracted to what they see, thus the catcalling when a guy sees a beautiful girl walk by. Now you would cause trouble by wearing provocative dresses to your boyfriend’s house in this hectic period because this could lure him into, well something you might not want to give. He might pressure you into it, but to be honest, you will enjoy the pleasure and not the consequences thereafter. Yes, you guys have been doing it before now and you have been lucky enough to see your monthly period, but have you ever given it a thought that the devil could strike? (I mean, who else would we blame?) Imagine getting pregnant when you know your boyfriend does not have a steady stream of income. Abeg no let OUR pikin suffer! HELP SAVE OUR MONEY. YES! I’m sure that’s what one guy just yelled whilst reading this. Indeed you have to help us save; the girlfriend role is an audition platform for the WIFE OF LIFE! So don’t make us get scared when we see your number because we have this feeling that you are about to make a request that would bleed our pockets or we simply can’t afford. At least allow the "SPIRIT" speak to us concerning your situation… ah ah!
2. STOP MAKING US UNNECESSARY SUPERMEN. You might not understand what I mean by “unnecessary supermen”, but in a situation where a lady does as she pleases just because she believes that her man got her back; the guy becomes an impromptu superhero. Please avoid gossip or any sort of deplorable happenstances, the food in our stomach might not be enough for us to defend you biko.
- NO NAGGING. I think I should have started from this….If we are dating, licenceI have not wifed you yet but you are already nagging and if we are married, that doesn't give a license. There is no man as depleted as a man who has a nagging spouse. You are still "GEH-FRIEND", not even FIANCE self, and you nag nonstop. You FIANCE and WIVES that are nagging machines, this would only chase your man away trust me. There is no money anywhere, but there is enough for me to take bike away from a nagging lady.
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